Stuff College Girls Like

Whether it’s stiletto heels on the campus’s cobblestone walkways or flip flops in the winter, college girls have a difficult time choosing the right footwear for the right occasion. Many colleges host job fairs every semester, where one can find sneakers and flip flops instead of appropriate footwear. Many college girls think wearing converses with business or formal attire is “cute.” Since when did “cute” become synonymous with “childish,” or “immature?”

There is a time and place for every shoe we own. I hope my fellow college girls will soon figure this out

I’m not sure how this trend started with females.  With college males (usually in a fraternity), the trend started in the 1980’s with lacoste polos, ralph lauren khaki shorts that come just above the knee, and boat shoes (sometimes this outfit is accompanied by a sweater tied around the shoulders).  Just imagine Carlton off of Fresh Prince of Bel Air. These young men wanted to look like they went yachting with their rich family friends every summer out of Cape Cod, when in reality they’re no better than anyone else.

Like I said, with females this trend baffles me.  There are some cute boat shoe-esque flats out there that I have no problem with.  Girls like to wear boat shoes with the most ridiculously casual outfits, though.  For example, they’re often paired with Soffe shorts.  WRONG, LADIES.  These shoes should be worn with a sailing-appropriate outfit.  Hence the name, BOAT SHOES.

They make your feet look bigger than they really are, anyways.

They can be seen any time the temperature drops below 60 degrees. Those suede ankle boots that come in natural, pastel blue and pastel pink colors. They’re lined with natural sheep wool, so they’re bound to stink when they come off.

The thing that baffles me most about these is the choice of wardrobe they’re worn with. Some girls sport them with a nice denim miniskirt. Other girls prefer to wear them with leggings and Soffe shorts. One thing is for certain, these boots aren’t meant to be worn with weather appropriate clothes (such as jeans). Wonderful fashion choice, ladies!

This one I’m convinced applies to all college students. No ones taste can be so poor to enjoy this beer. Yet at countless college parties each Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night there are at least 24 cans of this abomination… Whether it’s used for beer pong or just being drunk straight from the keg via kegstand, college students cheer “hooray, Keystone! You’ve helped another party succeed!”

Then again, what college girl has the audacity to refuse alcohol from the cute boy at the next-door Greek lodge?  Keystone is so watered down, it’s the only alcoholic beverage that is guaranteed not to dehydrate you, because as you drink it, it’s rehydrating you with the 50% water content.

I’ve had many college guys approach me about this phenomenon.  They come to me and ask, “Leah, why do girls wear sweatpants that AREN’T pink, but say Pink! on the butt?”  To which I respond: brand names.  Girls love their brand names and wouldn’t be caught dead wearing anything that wasn’t brand name, including work out attire.

These sweatpants aren’t worn for workout attire, though.  They fit in nicely with the “just woke up” look (see post #2).  Matched with a nice fraternity t-shirt, some boat shoes and the messy ponytail, this outfit just screams fashion success on the college campus.

Maybe these girls are trying to say something like “I’m not conforming to the word matching the color… I’m my own girl!”  or maybe their daddies paid for them to pass kindergarten because they couldn’t get their colors right.  The most brief description of what goes on inside these girls heads is, “vaccuum.”

Every college girl wants to be a princess.  How can there be a princess without her QUEEN?!  Having a gay best friend provides college girls with a stylist, a great dance partner, and a male counterpart that poses absolutely no threat to the college girl’s boyfriend.

Gay best friends also provide one thing that many college girls struggle with: esteem.  It always makes girls feel better to hear a guy call them fierce, fabulous, flawless, gorgeous, killer, etc, even when they look like utter crap. This way a girl can get her compliments in even if her boyfriend is a clueless oaf.

Also, with the help of this friend, college girls can plan viewing parties for Project Runway, Queer Eye, Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style, What Not to Wear, etc… and the gay best friend can join in on flamboyantly criticizing the clothing choices made in these shows.

Lastly, gay best friends open up a new world to college girls.  Now these girls can go to gay clubs, drag shows, and other activities usually only frequented by homosexuals, without being mistaken for a homosexual.

Best friends are great, but gay best friends are even better!

This one confuses me.  I know college girls (I am one) and college girls care about what others think.  Somehow, certain college girls think that this “just woke up” look will attract the male of the species.  Now, I’m not a college male, but if I were, I would not want the object of my affection to look like she just climbed out of some other guy’s bed and ran to school (with flawless eyeliner, of course).

Not only am I a college girl, but I’ve lived with many as well… The girls who go to class like this REALLY don’t just crawl out of bed.  They might leave the same clothes on, but their hair and makeup must look good before they get on the bus.

Maybe this fashion trend will spread!  Maybe the girls will start going to club in their sweats and tshirts with messy hair.  Maybe hobo will be the new boho!  I’d love to see that day.

 
You see them at the rec.  Large groups of girls trotting around the track, ponytails swishing back and forth.  If you’re a guy you may stop to admire these ponies, hardly sweating as they race around the track with their earbuds in, probably listening to Carrie Underwood or Rihanna.  You may also notice something else about these girls.  Something most girls fear: wearing the same article of clothing as their friends.  Although they’re not the same, no no.  They never are.  Because these running shorts come in a variety of colors, so that girls won’t have to be caught in that situation.
Whether purchasing the multicolored with a mesh side panel or the solid color with white piping variety, the number one thing college girls like about these shorts: built in underwear.

Most expect comfort or fashionability to be  high ranking on a woman’s choice of apparel.  Not in this instance. No sir.

The Nike corporation must have been asking themselves the following question when thinking up these shorts: “How can we get more runners out on the trails?”  Well, Nike, you hit the nail on the head.  By incorporating this miraculous element into shorts, Nike has urged a key female college demographic on the head: the partiers.  These shorts are miracle workers for the girls who misplace their underwear! Or say she wakes up with a killer hangover from last night’s Smirnoff Ice-capades and doesn’t even want to BOTHER looking for the misplaced unmentionables.  These shorts are for you, ladies!

Another reason college girls like these shorts is outfit coordination.  A comfortable pair of shorts that goes with virtually every t-shirt these ladies own.  With the tri-colored shorts you simply can’t go wrong! Any shirt you have HAS to match at least one of the three colors.

The last reason these shorts are popular is the built in pouch made for loose change you pick up on your daily run. At first glance this pouch seems to be built to hold maybe a cell phone, mp3 player, or some form of card (credit, ID, etc…).  Upon further inspection and realizing after 10 minutes that your phone WON’T fit in it, the conclusion is clear.  The streets are littered with loose change that people drop or throw out their car windows at high speeds (target practice?).  Utilization of this pouch leads to a realization: Who needs a job?! You can make up to a dollar a day picking up pennies off the pavement!

If you want to grab the attention of a girl sitting next to you in PSYC 107, compliment how her shorts compliment her shirt/eyes/hair/whatever.  Or you could casually bring up the fact that you ran a 10K last weekend in Austin and ask if she would like to accompany you on an afternoon jog sometime. College girls in Nike shorts eat this stuff up.

After hours and hours of discussing a topic for this blog with my roommates and friends, I realized I should be writing about something pertinent to me, as well as something I enjoy reading about.

One of my favorite blogs is “Stuff White People Like” so I figured I’d create a spin-off of that blog: Stuff College Girls Like.  These posts will be more specific to Texas Tech and Texas A&M females (seeing as how those are the two universities I’ve attended), but I think in the future I’ll view this blog as a success, whether it gains popularity or not.