Untangling

God: I know you want something.
Humanity: Who are you?
God: I have built the desire into your very being.
Humanity: Uh?
God: What have you been wanting your whole life? What have you been waiting for?
Humanity: …that job over at Stinky’s Accounting…or that big screen…those hip shoes…wait…maybe…someone to love me. Yeah. Sad, but true.
God: Guess what? I know someone who loves you more than you could ever imagine.
Humanity: Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I think I’ll eat a worm. Whoo! Nobody loves me, Everybody hates…
God: I want to tell you who I am.
Humanity: ….me..I think I’ll eat a worm…muahaha…wormy, wormy, wormy.
God: But it requires you to have an open heart. I’m God. I love you.
Humanity: La, la…I’m sure you do. That is why you killed my mom. You let me fail my entire life. I’m a big time cheater anyways. I would never go to heaven.
God: I love you.
Humanity: Na na na. I’m not listening. I don’t understand. You only want me to do what is right. You will punish me if I ’sin.’ I want to be free to do what I want. I do not want a watchdog bothering me all the time, telling me what to do. I’ll just be satisfied with the way things are. La la. Meaningless life. Meaningless life. I love to be and that is all!
God: I’m getting backup. I want you to understand. I want you to understand my love. Jesus is typing now.
Humanity: Whatever. Sup dawg?
Jesus (God in human form): Not much, man! How have you been? Are your classes going alright? I remember how hard accounting was. You must be stressed out, with all that on our shoulders. Feel free to talk to me. I can give you some relief.
Humanity: Thanks, that’d be great.. So you have taken accounting? And you know how I feel? And supposedly you are God?
Jesus: Yep. And if you do what I do, you will be set in life and for eternity. Love others. Treat others like you would want to be treated. Love God above all else. I cannot stress enough how important choosing to follow God is. I am the one to show you.
Humanity: So why are you talking to me?
Jesus: Because I love you. I am God. I want to forgive all of your weaknesses and sins and transform your mind. I want you to have full life. With me, you can have such peace. You will go to heaven. Nothing you do will get you there. If you have me, you can have instant forgiveness.
Humanity: Well, this sounds pretty good and all. But how does it work? I’m interested.
….time passes….

Humanity: Jesus?

…some more time…

God: Hello.
Humanity: What happened to Jesus?
God: He was killed because people thought He was going against me. He never even sinned in his life. He died for your sins, humanity. You were supposed to be punished. But Jesus let himself take the death sentence. I let myself take the death sentence by allowing myself, Jesus, to die. Do not worry, he rose from the dead three days later. But now it means, that you can have forgiveness in Christ.
Humanity: Intense! So what do I do now?
God: Ask Christ to come into your heart, ask for him to forgive your sins, realize that God loves you. Believe that Jesus died on the cross for you!
Humanity: I think I am going to do that…Why does my life suddenly seem so more crazily meaningful?….I feel like I’ve been untangled from the deception of this world! Jesus, come into my life and my heart. Finally, I am free!

An invisible string strangles my neck.

I want to speak. I know I should. “I will not though. I will not open my mouth.”

“But it is cold out there,” I say. “They won’t listen. They will not believe. Embarrassment will surround me.”

Who wants to talk about something that might cause another person to become rigid?

Raise your hand, anyone! Say that you want to talk about Jesus. If you do, you will lose all respect from everyone you know. You will be fired. You will not pass go. Like a machine gun to your face.

“Me! I want to!”  a surprisingly young girl yodels into the room. Her eyes are clear. Her voice is strong. She is not afraid of social disturbance about sharing Christ.

“Jesus loves me. I will tell people about His love for them!” She smiles, little kid charm.

Jesus tells us to be like a child. Maybe that is what He was talking about. Children do not understand social norms. They will be brave in the situations where others would back away, hiding in some lonely bathroom stall.

To be a Christian requires bravery. You have to speak out and take risks. You give up your normal, worldly life for something better by far.

God would like you to speak up. Be careful to hear that small voice urging you on. You might just save someone’s life.

God will work through you. Let Him use your voice.

Perhaps I am becoming weak. I know something is wrong.

Once I knew who I loved. Once I fell in love…with God…with life…with people…

Am I changing? I can feel the darkness tugging at my thoughts.

There’s a tiara in the middle of the road. Sort of sparkling. Glowing. It is the smile I used to adorn myself with. Cars and pedestrians have been smashing the crown into the ground. The jewels are few. The metals becoming fake. 

Sometimes I wonder where I am.

I get distracted easily by this world and its glittering green lies. A rotten egg vapor begins to strangle my mind. I do not know if I am breathing at all. I am shrinking when I should be growing. I am fading when I should be bursting with color.

The envelope sits on the counter. Addressed to no particular person. But it is jotted with worries and doubts, lined paper that is crumpled. The receiver used to be in bold font. I sent my fears to Him. But I’m afraid that I’m forgetting the address. 

I feel like I’m slipping. Last year, I was obsessed with seeking God. Last year my heart was beating. Now it is a quiet lull. The heart monitor reads ‘lame’ and ‘depressing.’

How have reached this silly point? How have I allowed myself to decay into carelessness? Why do I cry? Why do I not realize the purpose of this curious life?

The pen sits on the counter. Dust. Sometimes it will start to write. Sometimes it will mark things in the big, black book with gold lettering on the cover. But these days, the pen has given up. 

I need to recharge. I need to see again. I need to fix my mind on the truth. If I keep approaching those thoughts, the truths of Christ’s love, I will be brought back to Him.

“Come near to God and He will come near to you.”

“Fix your eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen….”

The life I see is not the life I really know.

Pursue the presence of God, dear friend, and you will find joy again.

Emotions have a fine way of getting us to be the people we do not want to be.

You get angry about a silly little thing your boyfriend does, something he says.

And your whole attitude is corrupted with frustration. You dwell on the words. You sit around, moping about. You will not let forgiveness make its way into your thoughts.

You get impatient with your mom on the phone, the lecturing she slaps in your face.

You give up and hang up. You will not calm down to listen. Irritation becomes your facial expression. You are not patient any longer.

You are sickened by the goodness of another girl. You start to become jealous.

You refuse to admire her and are filled with a disgusting strain of envy. You become bitter. You long to remove her from your presence. All she does is remind you of your weaknesses.

Emotions are dangerous.

They are beautiful, such as happiness and love and even righteous anger…But they are powerful and capable of much.

Emotions are amazing.

God is very emotional. He’s known to be jealous, loving, angry, patient…
We are made in the image of our Creator. We get those emotions too….only….

God has a right to every single emotion. He is perfect and knows how to use them.

We should never be jealous of the riches God has given another person, or the talents He has bestowed upon another individual.

Humans must be careful with emotions. God gave them to us to be used in glorifying ways.

‘Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.”

Psalm 139: 23-24

Ask God to show you which emotions are acceptable.
Does your heart truly tell you that hatred is good?
Do you feel at peace when you are jealous?

Know that God loves you for who you are. He wants you to feel emotions that bring love into the world.

Love, try loving.

You talk. You like to talk…
About that TV show. About that boy. About the taco you had for dinner. About the computer game. About the best political candidate.

You like to talk…

You let words fly out of your mouth about the novel, the weather, your headache, your professors…

You have a way of communicating with others. You have the ability to choose what to say in this short expanse of time we have in our lives.

If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, would not you adjust your speech?

If you knew your words were defining you, would not you choose more carefully?

“Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.”

What you say is not to be taken lightly. What you say leaves a mark on your day.

James in the New Testament talks of your tongue being like a small rudder controlling the whole vessel. Your little mouth can tell of your whole person and move you to where you might not want to be moved.

What you want to say may show what is important to you. Your favorite conversations reveal what in your life brings you joy.

When you talk badly about others, screech about the drivers in front of you, the gossip of celebrity’s, the bland addictive video game….you are talking about momentary, not necessarily healthy subjects. You are speaking of things that will only matter to you in this earth.

When you are building others up, you are lifting their spirits. When you are careful in your speech, you feel much safer. You run into less troubles and hurts.

Whatever you really enjoy talking about, that gives you a taste into what matters to you.

God and spiritual matters. When you talk about those, you are speaking eternity.

Have you ever been in love?
You know, the giggly, joyous, painful, deep, spring-like, kiddish puppy love, intoxicating, the spiritual-bond, lovey-dovey, bubbly based on the whole person, kind.

Your love’s eyes transform into searching amber jewels.
Their face becomes the most entrancing, curiously, overwhelmingly handsome thing in the world.

Their hug is like a calm pillow, like the Teddy Bear you held at moments you were lonely.
Their hands are the best thing in the world to hold, reassuring and fun.

You smile instantly when you see your love coming around the corner.
So matching are your personalities. So pleasant you feel when you together.
You become so attached….so addicted….
Easily, you can forget. You can forget who loves you the most.

You want everything to fall into place with this person; you want no troubles to occur.

But you are hit with a reality you know but struggle to realize in your human heart.

Your relationship with a person can be warm and comforting, loving and beautiful.

But no matter how blessed that relationship is…it cannot fill all the hurts and pains and questions wallowing in your heart.

A person can make you laugh, but they cannot bring peace to your soul.
You think that they should be able to make you ‘incandescently happy’ forever, as Elizabeth Bennett describes in the most recent production of Pride and Prejudice.

But people are not perfect and cannot have perfect love. People will let you down.

You cannot let a person dictate who you are.

Your relationship may bring you many smiles and squeals of giddiness.

But in the end, if you perceive them as the answer to all of your dying questions, you will be let down.

If you think that they will fulfill you in every way, if you think that they are the missing substance to make you eternally joyous about who you are as a person…you may be missing a sparkling ingredient that makes life make sense, that makes you make sense, that gives you an eternal purpose.

God is your best love.

He is the best source to fulfill your every hurt longing in your heart. He is perfect and He knows your favorite color without even having to learn it for the first time. He knows what smells bother you. He even knows the number of hairs on your head.

God is always there to rescue you. He is the one you should turn to for your identity, not another person.

Relationships are supposed to reflect God’s relationship with us. God is our husband. He loves us, takes care of us.

Give Jesus a date. Use Him as your soul’s Teddy Bear. You will find that he is the best man for the job.

Sometimes you walk alone in the mornings.
The air…Gray, humid, suspicious
Apartment buildings and weed filled grass
Lonely, dangerous in a quiet way
There might be a startling visitor, a slowing car
ready to snatch, a man hiding behind a corner or a bush…

You walk across damaged cement
Dew strangling your bravery
You have a curious strain of fear, for some reason
What could be a lovely stroll transforms into a timid walk, anxiety saturated
You know there’s something wrong with this scene…possibly this whole earth.

What should be is not how it is.

You want to walk in confidence but, you are hindered by an unknown feeling, a presence…
Possibly evil….You are fearful of the dark things in this world.
It may seem like intuition. But what if those warnings are from elsewhere…

What if the moments you are overwhelmed with fear, with worry…what if they had a source…

What if it is an unseen presence? What if it is the presence of all that is evil, of Satan?

Scaring away your joy with dark fear and anxiety.

You know there is something going on in this world.
You hear the fear crying from your friends, the baby in the dumpster, the rape victim sitting in the hospital….

There is some absolute evil in this world…

It surrounds you, comes from you, enhances everything wrong in existence…

You feel it on those fearful walks….you expect bad things to happen.

Why is that? Why does evil even exist?

You might just take a look back on your actions…

People get mad at God for bad things happening, but have you ever acted in a manner that hurt someone?

Have you been absolutely good all the time?

We cannot blame God for this tainted world.
We must examine ourselves and be careful with our surroundings. We must verbally rid Satan from our thoughts with hte help of Jesus. If he becomes close to you, he can help you with your weaknesses and tendency for sin. When Jesus is with us, when the holy spirit is with us, we have a greater power to fight sin.

That does not mean we will easily stay away from doing evil things. We must always be alert…

If we are not careful, we might just find that Satan is closer than we think.

This below comes from a blog called Jesus is da Rock

“Through Christ we’ve got

Satan under our feet.

Don’t play with God and let that serpent slip out from under you.

Remember, he ain’t playin!!!

He came to kill, steal and destroy;

But Christ came that you might have life,

and that you might have it more abundantly.”

Once upon a time, I was a timid, shaky girl. High School. Nerd galore. Long, poofy hair. Glasses. Clarinet. My mom used to call me “Frump girl.” I never smiled. My friends at school would try to guess my emotions. They could not tell if I was happy or sad or angry. Simply, always, depressed-faced girl. Monotone and lowly…
No boys ever really paid attention to me. I was destined to start up my own protestant nun sect. I had good grades. But that was all really.

At church, I felt like a fake. Everyone seemed to know the Bible well. Everyone seemed so excited and spiritual, useful. My theologian peers made me feel like I was not worthy enough to be called a Christian. They would smile and cry and raise hands during worship. They would talk of their love of spending time with Jesus. I did not fit in. Too shy to stand out. Too awkward to make a lot of friends. I felt fake…
I think I always had. Ever since I was little, I felt as though my claim to be a Christian was backed by nothing but pride and weakness and parental guidance. My parents were strong believers, but I grew up in Seattle, surrounded by Atheists. I liked being a Christian so that I could be different. But my walk with Jesus was alway filled with doubt.

I moved to Texas in High School. Pale and pathetic. Got friends in band. Not satisfied with being a meager Christian. And to top it off, I was disallusioned by the supposed Bible belt. I thought things would be different here. But I found out that Christianity was a cultural thing, and for many, it was not a relationship/real thing.

I was lost, looking in the clouds for answers.

Bad self-image, painfully shy, a little chunky, weak faith…Senior year was coming to an end. I had to decide about college…I did not think God had a plan for my life. I never got into the touchy, ‘feely’ Christianity. I always was bland…not good enough…

I chose to go to Texas A&M, nervous about going to Impact, a freshman summer camp for Aggies.

And sure enough at Impact, I felt pathetic, different. Who was I to join in on this spiritually high, fierce Christian environment? I was nothing there. Too shy…Too weak in my relationship with Jesus. I was tired of feeling guilty, non-Christian.

And then stuff started happening…

I felt sick at Impact, ’stomachy’ sick. I could not concentrate on stuff other than my feeling nauseated. When we were having worship time, I prayed really hard, really forcefully, sincerely. “Please, God…I feel like dying, remove this pain so that I can worship you, can really worship you…”

And I felt better. I was joyous, feeling like God heard me…

I confessed sins to my leader, learned about writing down bible verses…fighting negative thoughts

At Impact, I felt like I did not belong. It was sadness enough that boosted me into wanting to change. On my drive home from Impact, I listened to Christian music, I talked to my Mom on the phone. I decided….decided to make changes…

I was not going to put up with being a fake, depressed Christian anymore.

And so I started reading…Matthew, Mark, Luke…

I started my Freshman year of college determined, determined to change the way I had been living.

I was not going to put up with feeling bad, feeling fake.

So, I went to Upstream, a freshman bible study that my Impact leader suggested. And the people in the group, the Thursday night studies and trips to the coffee shop until 2 am. The friends I made. I started being built up in my faith, getting obsessed with Jesus and God. I read and felt encouraged, not so blind.

Words, the words of God spoke to me and I started understanding the Love of God.

God was becoming real.

The girls and guys in my group…they believed in God, they were seeking God just like me. They wanted to grow.

Throughout my Freshman year, I experienced great changes in my view on life and God.

I wanted Him, surrounded myself with His unfading words. Prayed and wrote and got excited about the possibilities. I wanted security. I wanted to know for sure.

I grew so much my Freshman year. I prayed not to be shy, not to be so timid. And before I knew it, I started to get crazy and to smile more. I had people that cared about me and encouraged me to get out of my sad state of timidity.

Jesus was on my side. God started removing my fears of never being myself. He was starting to remove the hindrances .

I gained great girl friends that year, friends that are now going to be my roommates this next year.

God showed me His love and continues to do so till this day.

He rescued me from shyness, put His power in me. I got baptized that summer. I made a promise to God that I would not get a boyfriend until I got baptized. The guy I liked called me on the phone about 20 minutes before I was about to get baptized. I saw it as one of God’s little messages.

That same boy asked me to be his girlfriend the same night my brother proposed to his girlfriend.

God had everything planned out.

He knows how everything will turn out and sincerely loves us.

I fell in love my Freshman year. With God.

He constantly rescues me. And loves each and every one of us.

Sometimes, you pray…
Really hard….
Your eyes squint….your  hands reaching up to God…
And then, magically….as if out of some wonderful fairy tale….

your prayers are rejected.

The cat dies. The keys are never found. The boy gets more sick. The pretty girl turns you down.

You question this God. You feel unloved, unheard. You feel praying was pointless. Silly. You feel foolish. You loose hope in the power of prayer.

You’ve always heard everything happens for a reason. It sounds pretty and all. But do you really think it applies to your life?

Do you actually, really believe that your life has a plan? Do you literally believe in prayer?

God tells us we should. Even if the prayers do not seem to be answered, He wants us to pray and wait.

We must trust that God knows what is going on.

“These things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.”  Habakkuk 2:3

You could pray for someone to like you.

That prayer might not be answered.

Because God had a better someone for you.

When our prayers are not answered, it is not because we did not pray hard enough necessarily. He does tell us to keep knocking at the door, to keep pestering Him. But God has something else in mind that will bring him glory.

Sometimes you pray, and your prayers are answered instantly.

You find the keys. You run into someone you’ve been longing to see.

God does these little perfect ‘coincidences’ to remind us of his intervention and power, his involvement in our lives.

God wants us to pray so that when the prayers are answered, His majesty will be seen.

We will rejoice because we know that He is there.

It’s true that God knows your heart and knows what you are going to speak before you even pray for the request.

But He still wants us to talk to Him, share the troubles with Him.

So try praying.

You might just find yourself addicted to talking to a God that loves you and is interested in everything about your life.

Sadness erases everything good that you know….

When your mind is focused on the negative….

When the tears keep coming back….

When you allow the world to get you down….

You can easily be sad….
It’s probably one of the easiest things to do if….

You don’t know where to find real joy…
Or you have forgotten where your true joy used to come from…

And so you give in to some strange voice that tells you to be miserable….

“You should hate yourself….You are not good enough….You should not have done that…You made bad grades…You should just never talk….You cannot be happy…You made a bad decision….You don’t deserve love….Your personality is ugly….You expect too much…You ruin everything….”

You listen to your thoughts and you become more sad…You forget everything good and allow those tears to flow….Always remembering….never forgetting….Consumed…rotting on your own mind…
Your life’s forecast becomes overcast.
You wake up in the morning, tied down by the troubles of this world.

You are constantly awake to the sadness in your life.

Jesus offered rest in the restless life we have.

“Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

When you have Jesus to turn to, you can give your sorrows to him and he will be your resting place….

A comfort in a time of weakness. He blesses the weak; he goes for the lowly…

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven”…

When you realize Jesus cares for you, loves you, wants to take care of you, does take care of you….

The possibilities for joy is ENDLESS

But maybe you consider yourself a follower of Jesus…or maybe you consider yourself religious, or spiritual, or dedicated to the church, or a gospel genius, or a preacher of perfection…..

…..And you are still SAD….

You are still wrapped up in your sorrows.

You still have troubles in the world.

You wonder why you feel this way, why you still have troubles….

Satan does not want believers to be joyful and will do everything to ruin that peace…

But we must fight against him, and we must not forget about Jesus.

It does not matter how much you have sinned, how much your life is messed up….Jesus is willing to forgive (he already has) and he is ready to help you….

When sadness gets us down, we forget we have a savior.

Perhaps we all just need to remember to sleep once in a while, to find our rest in him…

Initiate the joy and go to God.

Here is a blog about turning tears into joy.

Faith with You Blog